


Nothing Without You

by labct1



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Kris Allen (Musician)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-20
Updated: 2013-07-20
Packaged: 2017-12-20 20:35:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/891573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/labct1/pseuds/labct1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A few people have asked me to move my old Kradam LJ fics to here.   This is one I did for a bigbang a while ago.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> An old fic I'm posting here by request. I haven't fixed or changed anything since it's original post.

Kristopher Allen squeezes his thighs against the flesh between them. He leans forward, relishing the sounds of the heavy breathing, the glistening sweat from the animal beneath him. He enters the clearing and pulls on the reins before jumping down.

He smiles and pats Zeus's neck, a glorious horse with glossy black hair who rides like the wind. He walks him towards the stable, letting him cool down from their ride.

"Treat him extra special today, Willie," Kris says to the stable boy before handing Zeus over. He pats his neck one last time.

"Aye sir," Willie responds.

Kris exhales and runs a hand through his hair. There's nothing like a good ride around the estate to get the blood pumping. He quickly makes his way to the main house, knowing he's already running late for the bash tonight.

Flirting is right up there with riding as one of his favorite activities list, but deep down he's a one man guy. He always thought he would marry for love, not necessity. But thanks to the "clause" in his parents will, the choice is slowly being taken from him.

"Sir, you're getting mud everywhere," Mrs. Rollingwood admonishes when he walks into the kitchen. She shoos at him with her cloth while he steals a treat from the tray.

"But I'm the master of the house," he teases, winking at the eldery, roboust woman who's been the closest thing to a mother he's ever had.

He walks down the hall yelling for his butler. "Rollie!"

"Yes sir," the tall, thin man magically appears in front of him. One day Kris will figure out how he does that.

"I've upset your wife I'm afraid." Kris tries to look forlorn but he has a feeling the grin on his face is giving him away.

"Not again sir," Edward Rollingwood exclaims with a sigh as he hurries down the corridor.

"I'll make it up to you," he shouts as he heads up the wide marble stairs to the master suites on the second floor.

Kris chuckles as he imagines the scene taking place in the kitchen. He always thought it was his job to get Isabel going, and Rollie's job to calm her down. They make a great team that way.

He strips off his clothes and throws them down the shute before climbing into the shower. His mind immediately goes to the will. That's all his mind seems to focus on nowadays.

If he doesn't marry before he turns twenty-six, everything that means anything to him gets auctioned off for charity. His parents thought this was their last chance to "turn" their gay son straight. However, he gets the last laugh because gay people are now allowed to get married. He smiles picturing his parents rolling over in their grave.

He dries off and puts on his black suit. He checks himself in the mirror before running his hands through his hair one last time. He tries to do something with it but it's a lost cause. His hair will do whatever it wants, whenever it wants no matter how much time he takes trying to fix it.

Kris whistles as he walks down the stairs and smiles when he sees who's waiting for him.

"Well if it isn't Mr. Adam Lambert. What brings you by?"

Adam Lambert has been Kris's best friend since they were kids when Adam's father came to work as a chaeuffer / mechanic for his parents. His parents hated that they spent a lot of time together, and Kris will admit he did it at first because it irked them. But they stayed friends because they clicked, not to spite his parents.

Adam lifts a brow. "You're going out?"

"You're an observant one. Going to the club. Come with me?" Kris knows the answer. Adam never goes. He's not a member, but it's not for lack of trying on the club's part.

"I don't think so Kristopher."

Kris laughs. No matter how many times he's told Adam to call him Kris, it's always Kristopher.

"Besides, you know there is nothing that will ever get me to cross those doors ever again."

Kris' laugh dies as quickly as it came. Adam had gone to the club to pick up him and his parents when they were teenagers. Not knowing the protocol, Adam walked into the place, spotted Kris, and walked over to talk to him, only to be humiliated into leaving moments later when people found out he was the chaeuffer and not a rich kid.

Adam vowed never to set foot in the club again.

Kris was angry on Adam's behalf after what happened. He thumbed his nose up at the place for a while but the charity work he does with the other members of the club pulled him back in.

"I didn't realize you had plans. I was stopping by for a visit on my way home from the office." Adam says.

"Well, have a drink with me before I leave."

They walk into the den off the main hall and Kris fixes them each a vodka tonic.

He hands a glass to Adam, taking in the crisp, expensive black suit, his tie perfect even after a long day at the office. He wonders what his parents would say if they were still alive to witness Adam's success. He owns an international graphic design business with branches in movies and video games. Adam has more money, and knows more celebrities, than his parents could ever dream of.

Kris takes a sip and studies Adam over the glass. "How are you going to find a boyfriend if you're always working?"

"I don't need a boyfriend Kristopher." Adam takes stares into his glass and takes a sip. He smirks before adding, "I have plenty of boys."

Kris laughs. "That's not the same thing."

"But I'm not the one dying to get married."

Kris snorts but doesn't reply. He can't tell anyone about the clause in the will or he loses everything. All Adam knows is Kris wants to settle down. He doesn't know the why.

They talk about Adam's job. He's negotiating a big deal but can't tell Kris any specifics. Kris tells him about the concert he went to the previous night, one Adam wanted to go to but work came up. Something that happens frequently.

"Let's go out on your boat this weekend," Kris says as they leave the house.

"Sounds good. Call me," Adam yells as he trots to his convertible.

"I always do," Kris responds but Adam's too far to hear him. He smiles and shakes his head. Kris hopes more than anything that Adam falls in love one day. He's an honorable guy who deserves to find happiness. Maybe it's the romantic in him, but Kris doesn't think anyone can be truly happy without love in their lives.

He makes his way to the club, hoping to find Eric Kramer in attendance. Kris has a crush on the young painter but Eric seems a little shy. He's hoping he can bring him out of it, and take a turn on the dance floor with him. Maybe more than one.

Kris pulls up the drive to the club and tosses the valet his keys before slipping him a tip.

"Max, why don't you take it for a little drive around the grounds before you park it." Kris smiles at the look of shock on the kid's face.

"But, Mr. Allen, I couldn't," the kid with the bright red hair stutters.

"Sure you can. You have your license." Kris leans down as if to tell him a huge secret. "Go. Have fun for two minutes. There are plenty of other valets here to cover for you."

Max nods enthusiastically before climbing into the car. Every once in a while he likes to give them a treat along with a tip.

Kris walks into the lobby and grabs a glass of champagne from a passing waiter. He nods and says hello to the people who greet him all the while searching for his prey. He sees the curly blonde hair and smiles before making his way across the room.

"Hi Eric. Aren't you looking handsome tonight." Kris watches the blush rise on his face.

"Thanks, Kris. How are you?" Eric takes a sip of his drink.

"Let me guess, Pepsi?" Kris asks with a smile in his voice.

Eric's face gets a little redder and he nods again.

"Eric, I'm thinking we should go to dinner tomorrow night." Kris arches his brow and waits for an answer.

"Um, I'd like that," Eric says softly, not meeting Kris's eyes.

"Great. Give me your phone number." Kris calls it and then adds Eric to his contacts. "Now we have each others numbers."

Eric smiles and Kris feels a little tickle in his stomach. It's not much but it's something.

"Do you want to dance?" Kris asks, his fingers removing Eric's glass from his hand. He places it on the table next to his emptly flute.

Eric nods again. Kris takes Eric's hand and leads him to the floor where he fumbles for a minute before settling down.

"You don't dance much, do you?" Kris asks.

"No, sorry," Eric mumbles.

Eric reminds him of himself when he was younger. Nervous, not sure how to act. Thank God for Adam.

"My best friend Adam taught me how to dance.” He smiles at the memory. “We were in my parents garage where we danced to Madonna's "Crazy For You". He played it over and over again until I stopped stepping on his toes."

Eric laughs, the reaction Kris was hoping for.

"Didn't you take lessons?"

"Yeah. My parents paid for these elaborate lessons but all they taught me was how to dance with a girl. Dancing with a boy is a little different."

Eric smiles at Kris. "It is. That was a nice thing for him to do."

"Yes it was. He also taught me how to kiss. He bought ice cream cones and my assignment was to not get it all over my face. He said it would make me a messy kisser if I couldn't control myself."

Eric laughs again and Kris joins him.

"Sometimes messy kisses can be fun," Eric says shyly.

Kris grins. "Sometimes they're the best kind."

Eric blushes but he doesn't look away leaving Kris feeling a little hopeful.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adam relaxes under the umbrella on the yacht while Kris tells him about some guy he took out a couple nights ago.

"What kind of people do you meet at the country club?" Adam has visions of preppy boys wearing polo shirts with sweaters hanging off their shoulders.

"What kind of people do you meet at work?" Kris asks in response.

"Touche." Adam tips his glass over to Kris. "God, it's a gorgeous day."

"Yes it is. I noticed you haven't answered your phone once today," Kris says with a smile.

"Decided to take a day off."

He hasn't told anyone but he's selling off a section of his company and the negotiations are getting heavy. In five years, he took his small company and grew it to unthinkable heights. He never dreamed of having the success he's had. But it's come at a price. His father passed away last year and, unfortunately, Adam can count on one hand how many times he saw him the last year of his life. He needs this head clearing time away and was excited when Kris suggested it. He barely sees Kris now with everything at the office getting crazy, and frankly, he misses him. Outside of Kris, he has no close friends.

Adam stands up and heads to the end of the boat to dive in.

"If you're going to wear a shirt to swim, why wear white?" Kris teases when Adam comes up for air.

"Because," Adam sputters, "it's for the sun and you know it asshole. I don't need a burn and I don't need more freckles."

"But your freckles are aborable."

Adam makes a face and ducks under the water. His freckles are not adorable and he doesn't know why people think they are. He swims for a little bit before climbing back on board. He grabs a towel to dry off but stops when he sees Kris staring at him.

"What? Is there a hole in my trunks?" Adam looks down.

"Oh, ah, no." Kris stands there staring at Adam and it's starting to weird him out. "Have you been working out?"

Adam laughs. "Not purposely working out as much as working off stress." Adam finishes drying off. "How about I start the burgers and you can tell me more about Eric."

"He's nice. You'd like him. We've been out a couple of times. He….."

Adam cooks while Kris talks. It seems Kris is taken with this boy. Maybe he should have someone do a background check. He seems too gung ho to get married lately. Adam doesn't get what the hurry is. He has his whole life ahead of him. But the way he goes on and on about marriage has Adam fearing he’s going to do something rash.  
~ ~ ~

Kris looks at Eric over the menu. He really enjoys spending time with him. The more time they spend together, the more open Eric has become. It's their fourth date but they've only kissed a few times. He wanted Eric to feel more comfortable before going any further. He's thinking tonight is the right time for the next step.

"Do you plan on getting married?" Kris asks bluntly.

"What?" Eric puts down the menu and stares blankly at Kris.

"Not now. I mean, one day do you want to?"

Eric plays with his glass. "Yes."

"What do you want in your husband?"

Eric takes a sip of water and thinks for a moment. "I want him to be my best friend. Someone who knows the worst of me and loves me in spite of it. And someone who doesn’t work too much. I don't want to be play second fiddle like my mother had to do."

"Yeah. Adam works too much. I try to tell him but he doesn't listen. Me, I don't work. I give money away instead. Much more fun," he winks at Eric and they clink their glasses together.

They order dinner and talk about Eric's upcoming exhibition at a local gallery. Eric's eyes light up when he talks about his art, in a way they never do at any other time.

"Come home with me," Kris says after dinner. He's standing in front of Eric, his arms blocking him in. He sucks Eric's neck, loving the way his voice hitches when his tongue makes contact.

"Kris, I really want to but I'm not sure it's a good idea."

Kris captures his lips in a fiery kiss that has them both panting for breath afterwards.

"I know you want me," Kris growls, his hips sliding against Eric's.

"Yes. I do. So much," Eric admits and Kris smiles against his cheek.

Eric pulls Kris's head in, taking charge for the first time. They moan into each other's mouths, and by the time they come up for air, they're both hard and needy and Kris doesn't have to ask if Eric wants to go home with him.  
~ ~ ~  
"I slept with Eric," Kris says as a way of greeting.

Adam leans back in his chair and spins it to look out the window. "And you feel the need to announce this to me, why?"

"I like him. I really like him. And the sex was good."

Adam picks up the report from his desk. The detectives didn't find out anything. Eric Kramer comes from a wealthy family, is a shy painter, and has had one affair.

Now two.

"Good but not great," Adam mumbles.

"It got better. He's a little shy at first but after, well, after the activities really started he relaxed."

"That's good to know."

"Come over for dinner Friday night. I want you to meet him."

Adam wants to meet him too. It appears he's got Kris's heart in his hands and he wants to make sure Eric is wearing kid gloves while he's holding it.

"I'll be there."  
~ ~ ~  
Kris sits on the grass watching Zeus and Aphrodite grazing a short distance away. He can sense everything slipping from his fingers. He only has a couple of months left before his birthday. It's not the money he'll miss. He has plenty of his own. It's the rides with Zeus. It's Mr. and Mrs. Rollingwood. It's this house, the only one with happy memories from his childhood. Almost all of them involve hijinks with Adam.

A noise catches his attention and he looks over to find Eric sketching away.

"Eric," he calls out, getting the attention of his lover. Kris holds out his hand and watches as he makes his way to him.

He stops him when Eric starts to sit down. "No, stay like this." Eric stands there, his hands sliding through Kris's hair. Kris opens his pants and takes him into his mouth.

Later, when they are lying in each other's arms on the grass he thinks that maybe he doesn't have to lose everything. Maybe there's a solution.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An old fic from LJ that I'm posting here.

"Rollie. Good to see you," Adam says when the butler opens the door.

"Mr. Lambert. May I take your coat."

Adam laughs and hangs up the coat himself. "Rollie. I used to work here remember. I know where it goes. You don't have to wait on me."

"But you're a guest now."

Adam humpfs. "Where's Kristopher and Eric?"

"They are still upstairs. They'll be down shortly."

"Excellent," Adam says, thumping the older man on the shoulder. "Now I have time to flirt with your wife."

"I'm sure she'll be thrilled."

Adam laughs and heads to his favorite place in the house - the kitchen. He's had meals from the most famous chefs in the world but none of them beat the home cooking from the woman standing at the counter chopping up vegetables, humming along to music only she can hear.

"Mrs. R. You're looking better than ever."

The woman squeals and puts down her utensils before giving Adam a big hug.

"Where have you been lately? We never see you anymore," she scowls at him but the gleam in her eye gives her away. She's as happy to see him as he is to see her.

"Work," he says.

"It's always work, work, work with you."

Adam looks away. She's right. He's become someone he doesn't even recognize anymore, which is why he's selling part of it.

Adam changes the subject by asking her about her grandchildren. He's laughing at one story when he hears Kris calling his name.

"Hey Adam, this is Eric Kramer. Eric this is Adam Lambert. My best friend."

Adam grips Eric's hand. "Hi. Nice to finally meet you."

"You too."

"Why are you in here?" Kris asks.

"I was trying to steal Mrs. R away from Rollie but she's not having it."

She slaps Adam on the arm. "Go sit down. Dinner's ready."

It's clear over dinner that the report he got is spot on. Eric is very nice, sweet, shy and Kris is obviously infatuated with him. It's also plain to see Eric feels the same way. He spends the time observing the two of them. They share an inside joke, and for a brief moment Adam gets a little pang of jealousy. He remembers when that was them. 

Everything is going to change if their relationship moves forward. It wouldn't be the first time Kris has had a boyfriend but there's something about this one that's a little different from his predecesors. He can see it in Kris's eyes, in his smile. He hasn't seen that on Kris's face in a long time.

He tries not to eavesdrop when Eric leaves. Adam was getting ready to leave when Eric stopped him and asked him to stay, that Kris had been complaining earlier in the day he didn't get to see Adam anymore. He thought it would be nice if they had some time alone to catch up. 

That gives him a mark of respect in Adam’s mind.

"What do you think?" Kris asks when he walked back into the den.

"You were right. I like him." He watches Kris's face light up.

"I knew you would. He's really sweet."

"He's not your usual type," Adam says. Kris usually dates guys that are more outgoing. Eric seems too shy for Kris. 

"No, he isn't," Kris responds. He grabs his drink from the table where he left it before walking Eric out. 

"I'm going to ask him to marry me," Kris says with a smile.

Adam chokes on his drink. "What?"

"You heard me." 

"Kristopher. Going from liking someone to marrying him are two different things." 

Why is Kris so damn adamant on getting married? If he and Eric spent more time together that would be one thing, but they just started dating.

"Well, I'm not getting any younger," Kris mumbes into his glass.

"You don't even know anything about each other?"

"Sure we do. He's a painter. A very good one by the way."

Adam very slowly puts his drink down and glares at Kris. "You can't be serious? You know you need to know someone better than that."

"Sex is good."

Adam runs his hands through his hair. "Kristopher, do not mess with me. Are you seriously contemplating proposing to him after a handful of dates?"

Kris looks him straight in the eye. "Yes I am."

Something inside Adam snaps. “Does he know you prefer tea to coffee in the mornings? Or that you can’t handle Tequila?" He paces and throws his arms up in the air asking the universe to help him understand what is going through Kris's mind. "Does he know you were never allowed to have sleepovers because your parents were afraid you'd have sex with whatever boy was over?" He suddenly stops and gives Kris a hard look. "Did you tell him about the first boy you feel in love with? The one who broke your heart when you caught him cheating and it was a long time before you dated again. Does he know anything about you?" He only realizes he was yelling after he stopped.

"What the hell was that all about?" Kris stares at him anger burning in his eyes.

"Jesus. You're talking about proposing marriage - MARRIAGE - to some guy that you barely know! What are you thinking?" 

"I'm thinking I might be happy with hiim," Kris yells back.

Adam stares at him dumbfounded. "You might? You're going to propose to a guy you aren't even sure you'll be happy with? Why?"

Kris looks away. "I have my reasons."

Adam wants to shake him. "Then tell me what they are."

Kris is quiet a long time before he responds. "I can't."

Those two words prove how much things have changed. Getting married is one of the biggest decisions a person will make, and Kris just told Adam he can't confide in him about it. They used to share everything. There was nothing they couldn't talk about. Hell, once or twice he even thought they’d end up together, when the time was right. But while Adam was busy working, things changed and he had no idea.

He downs the rest of his drink and drops the glass on the table. He stands up and rubs his hands down his thighs. "Well, I guess we aren't the friends I thought we were," he says quietly. 

He walks out of the house and wonders if he only imagined how close they once were.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kris stares at the door and sighs. He knows he hurt Adam but there's nothing for it. He'll talk to him and explain after everything's settled. Adam will forgive him. He always does.

Meanwhile, he heads upstairs to make plans. Everything will fall into place if Eric says yes. He takes the papers out of his nightstand and his jaw clenches when he reads the name of the four charities. At least three of them are ones Kris supports. But it’s the fourth name that brings home exactly how much his parents resented – no hated – his sexuality, and ultimately him. He shudders to think he once wasted tears crying over their death. Maybe that makes him a horrible person but he can’t help how he feels.

What parent takes everything away from their only child, sells it, and gives a portion to the biggest anti-gay organization in America. All because he’s attracted to men instead of women.

He shoves the papers back into the nightstand. He’s had enough emotional upheaval tonight. He doesn’t need to have a bigger pity party. Instead he makes a list of the things he’ll have to do when Eric accepts his proposal. Kris refuses to believe anything else.

Two weeks later, ring in his pocket, he's sitting in Eric's living room. They're curled up on the couch watching some dramatic movie but his mind is occupied with Adam. He hasn't talked to him since their fight because Adam's been traveling. Although, deep down, Kris knows he’s only using that as an excuse to hide the pain of realizing Adam is ignoring him. They've never gone this long without talking.

Eric stirs and sits up. He grabs the remote to mute the TV. "Want to talk about it?"

Eric’s voice interrupts Kris’s thoughts, bringing him back to the present. “Sorry.” He rubs a hand over his face trying to figure out what exactly to say.

“It’s Adam. Isn’t it?” Eric asks and Kris snaps his face to look at him. 

“How did you know?” 

Eric lets out a little laugh and just looks at Kris, a fond smile on his face. “It doesn’t take a rocket scientist.”

Kris has no idea what he means by that but he does need someone to talk to and if they’re going to be married Kris figures he should start trusting Eric. He tells him about their fight but not about the subject. He only mentions they fought and haven't talked since. And when he’s done, he admits how nice it is to have someone to talk to.

"Call him."

"I have. A hundred times. He hasn't called back," Kris drops his head in his hands and scrubs at his scalp.

"I'm sure you'll work it out."

Kris isn’t so sure about that. He doesn’t know what he’ll do if they lose their friendship. Adam is so much more than his childhood friend. He was the one who cleaned him up when he got sick the first time he got drunk. He’s the one who carried him home when he fell off his dirt bike and broke his leg. He was always the one person Kris could count on to be there for him no matter what. 

He shoves his hand in his pockets. That’s when he remembers the ring. Kris looks at Eric and decides there's no time like the present. Thoughts of Adam will have to wait.

"Eric. I like you."

Eric smiles. "That's a good thing considering we sleep together."

Kris laughs. He wishes more people could get to know Eric. Like Adam. Maybe then he wouldn't have jumped down his throat about marrying him.

He pulls out the ring. "We get along great. I like you. You like me," Kris laughs. "I sound like the purple dinosaur."

He notices Eric didn't laugh. He glances to find Eric's eyes glued to the ring in Kris's hand. Kris licks his lips and forges on. "I think we should get married."

The silence in the room gets more awkward with every passing second. It seems like hours pass before Eric answers a few seconds later.

"Kris, you don't love me," Eric's voice is soft but strong. 

"Do you love me?" Kris asks. 

Eric is right but that doesn’t mean he couldn’t grow to love him or that they couldn’t have a good life together.

"No but I like you a lot."

"Enough to get married?"

Eric laughs. "Kris, I'm not the one you want to marry."

He wouldn’t be asking if he didn’t want to. "Of course you are! I'm asking you aren't I?"

Eric reaches on the table for his sketch pad and opens it to a picture of Kris.

"Would you say this is a picture of a man in love?" Eric asks.

Kris stares at the picture of himself. He’s looking at someone off the page. There’s a glow in his eyes, a small smile on his lips. Maybe he does love Eric if that’s how he looks at him.

"Yes, it is," he mumbles. The picture gives him hope for their future.

"It's all over your face how much you love the guy you're looking at. Do you see it?" Eric presses and Kris nods. The picture is hypnotizing. He can't look away. Even though it's a sketch of himself, he feels like he’s seeing a stranger. Eric captured a very intimate moment.

"Yes," Kris says, his head nodding in agreement.

"Do you know who you were looking at?"

Kris looks up at him and smiles. "You." Who else could it be?

"No Kris. It wasn't me. You were looking at Adam."

Kris laughs. "No. I do not look at Adam that way."

"Yes you do. Do you know how much you talk about him?" Eric doesn't wait for an answer. "A lot. Almost every conversation. More than I talk about painting. I thought you guys had some break up or something and I was a rebound guy. It's only after spending time with you that I realized you had no clue."

"I don't love Adam." Eric is way off base. Sure he loves him but he isn’t in love with him.

Eric looks at him sympathetically. "You came here to propose. Instead of being happy and excited about our future, you spent the night thinking about Adam."

Kris stands up and paces the room. "Of course I was. We got into a huge fight."

"Kris, I like you. Maybe you aren't ready to admit it to yourself. I don't know. But I know it's Adam you love. Not me. Even if I agreed with you that you didn't love him I still couldn't marry you."

"Fine," Kris snaps out . “Whatever.”

He storms out the house and races home. Eric is so far off base it’s funny.

"In love with Adam," he laughs in the car. "As if."

He arrives home and heads straight upstairs, barely mumbling anything to Rollie when he's greeted at the door.

He lies in bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking of Adam over the years. He was always the one Kris went to for advice, a shoulder to cry on, or a laugh when he needed one. It was always Adam but that doesn't mean he's in love with him. 

He falls asleep and dreams of a man with jet black hair and blue, green eyes. He dreams of their bodies sliding together and their mouths hungry for the taste of each other. And he dreams of that man whispering dirty things in his ear when he takes him.

Kris wakes up in a sweat, his dick hard and throbbing. The dream was so vivid he looks over expecting to see Adam sleeping next to him. He groans when his mind goes over the dream. His hand slips down to his erection and he strokes, giving his body the release it's demanding. 

When he comes, it's Adam's name on his lips, and the sight of Adam standing on yacht with his wet t-shirt clinging to his body.

He gasps in air, his heart pounding heavy in his chest. "Fuck. “I can’t be,” he tells himself. 

He stands up and jumps in the shower. But even the pounding water doesn't drive the thoughts from his mind. He wants to yell, or cry or laugh. He’s just not sure which one.

He climbs back into bed, his mind in overdrive with too many pictures and memories of them through the years. He tells himself everything will be back to normal In the morning. It has to be. Otherwise Kris' life just took a sharp detour. One he's not sure he's ready for.

After a week spending every waking and sleeping hour thinking about Adam, he’s ready to admit Eric’s right. 

He's in love with him. Probably has been since they were teenagers. 

Now that he's admitted it, he's terrified. He needs to talk to someone but who? He could’ve talked to Eric about it but that was before. He remembers their last conversation when Eric tried to tell him. Maybe he can talk to him. There’s only one way to find out. 

The next day he arrives at Eric's house.

"Thanks for seeing me.”

Eric hands Kris a beer. "You look like shit."

"Thanks," Kris snorts. "I haven’t been sleeping well."

"I can imagine."

Kris sits on the chair and looks at Eric who's perched on the end of the couch. Eric doesn't look mad or sad.

"I dream about Adam," Kris admits in a small voice.

"Really? Anything good?" Eric laughs when Kris's cheeks stain pink. "That good huh?"

"You might be right," he says quietly.

He looks down at his hands gripped tight on his lap. What is he going to do? Adam is his best friend. If he tells him how he feels he'll probably lose him forever. Having Adam as a friend in his life is better than not having him at all. Even though they aren't exactly speaking right now, they will eventually. They always do. He looks up when he hears Eric approaching. 

"You need to talk to him."

"Why aren't you freaking out? I proposed to you. We slept together and today I admit I love someone else. Most people would be pissed."

"You're a good person Kris. You didn’t do anything to purposely hurt me and I figured out very early on what the score was. I could’ve stopped it.”

“Why didn’t you?” Kris asks curiously.

Eric shrugs. “We had chemistry but I always knew it was casual. I had no idea you were thinking marriage. Why did you want to marry me anyway?” Eric asks clearly bewildered.

Kris sighs and decides total honesty is what Eric deserves. Even though it means he’ll lose everything, Eric has a right to hear the truth. Besides it’s not like he has a chance of keeping everything now anyways. He's out of time and the only person he wants to marry wants nothing to do with him.

When he's done explaining, Eric has fallen on the couch, a look of shock on his face.

"I don't know what to say."

"There's nothing to say."

"So you proposed to me because you had to get married."

"Eric, I wouldn't have asked you to marry me if I didn't like you."

"That makes me feel better. Thank you. But now that you told me, you still lose everything."

"Pretty much. I mean, I have my own my money and can buy my own house and stuff."

"I'm sorry Kris."

"It’s okay. I realized last night I deserve to marry someone I really love, not just like." He winces and looks at Eric. "Sorry, no offense."

Eric laughs. "None taken. Look, I've got to get going or I'm going to be late for my meeting at the gallery. Do me a favor? Think about what I said about talking with Adam. I've seen the way he looks at you. I think you'll be surprised by his reaction."

"What do you mean 'the way he looks at you?"

"Maybe you're not the only one who's buried his feelings."

~ ~ ~  
Adam's exhausted and needs a bed stat. The negotiations are done, the paperwork signed. He feels a sense of relief but also a sense of sadness. He signed off a piece of himself today. It's like his baby has left the cradle.

He sees Kris's car in the driveway and resigns himself to a long wait before his head can hit the pillow. They haven't spoken in almost a month. Part of the problem was that Adam hasn't been home. But that was just an excuse. The truth is Adam had no idea what to say to him.

He was going to have to face him sooner or later. It might as well be now.

Adam opens the door to the house and stops when he sees Kris sitting on steps leading to the second floor.

"Hey," he says.

"Hi." Kris stands and puts his hands in his pockets. "Can we talk?"

"Sure. Let's have a drink."

They walk into the den and Adam quickly fixes them a scotch.

"Did you propose?" Adam asks bluntly.

"Um, yeah. He turned me down." Kris’ eyes look downward, refusing to meet Adam’s eyes.

"Oh." That wasn't what he expected.

Adam’s eyes widen when he sees Kris down his drink. He must be pretty broken up about it to gulp that down. Maybe he had more feelings for Eric than he thought.

"Adam, have you ever thought about us, as a couple?"

"What?" he chokes out.

"Seriously, have you?" Kris is looking at him, his brown eyes hopeful but weary. 

"Kristopher," Adam warns. He's not in the mood to play pick up the pieces of Kris's heart today.

"I've been thinking about it. A lot actually. Especially since my talk with Eric."

"Your talk with Eric?" What the hell did they discuss?

"Yes, I proposed and he turned me down. He said," Kris leaves the sentence hanging and gives Adam a pleading look.

"He said what?" Why were they talking about Adam? It makes no sense.

"He said I was in love with someone else," the words come out in a rush.

"What?"

"With you. He said I was in love with you. And I've been thinking that he's probably right."

"Why would you ask him to marry you if you loved someone else?" 

Adam can't make himself say 'if you loved me'. Besides Kris said Eric was “probably right”. He didn’t say he was right. That’s two different things entirely. 

"Well, you see, I was going to lose everything if I didn't get married by my birthday."

"That doesn't make any sense." This conversation is turning stranger by the second.

My parents had this will made up. And you know how much they loved my being gay," Kris says, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "So, I lose everything if I don't get married. They thought I'd marry a woman." He laughs bitterly.

"You're out of the will if you don't get married?"

"Yes, but it doesn't specify to a man or a woman."

"So Eric turned you down, and now you're running out of time, so you're here?" Adam can feel the anger taking over. 

"Yes. Wait no. It's not like that. I mean, yes, I want us to get married…."

"Kristopher you can't play with people's emotions. You're coming to me, thinking I'll rescue you like I've always done."

"No, that's not what I'm doing…."

"It's exactly what you're doing. You thought I was going to say yes didn't you? You thought I'd marry you and save you.” He slams his glass down on the counter. He doesn’t think he’s ever been more angry in his entire life. "Not this time. Not ever again. Get out Kristopher. Get out and don't come back."

"Adam, you have it all wrong! I'm not explaining it right. Let's start at the beginning." Kris walks frantically towards him but Adam backs away.. 

"Don't you get it? I'm done. You live with your head in the clouds not thinking about your actions. Sometimes I don't think you take anything seriously. Well, I'm not cleaning up after you anymore. I don't work for you.” Adam refuses to let the hurt that flashes in Kris’s eyes stop him. “I'm sure there are plenty of guys out there willing to marry you for your money. But I don't need it. Go find one of them and leave me the hell alone."

Kris swallows hard. “You don’t mean that.” Adam’s heart breaks a little when he hears the tears clogging his voice but there’s no way he’s letting Kris use him like this. No matter what he feels for him.

“Just leave. Please,” he begs when Kris just stands there looking at him with the saddest eyes he’s ever seen. 

“Adam,” Kris tries again.

“I’m not attracted to you like that. You’re too immature for me.” Adam says whatever he can think of to make him go. He's hurt and humiliated to think Kris would use him like that. 

He watches pain flash on Kris’ face before he looks away. 

“I see. I’m sorry. I won’t bother you again.” 

Adam waits until Kris leaves the room before he throws his glass against the wall. There were too many times over the years he thought of them together. Kris coming to him out of desperation never once entered his mind. 

He storms up the stairs when he hears the car screeching out of the driveway. Of all the fucking things Kris has pulled over the years this has to top them all. The more he thinks about it, the angrier he gets. 

He rips off his clothes before jumping in the shower. When he arrived home earlier, all he wanted was a bed. Now, he wants to hit someone, or something.

Adam always thought Kris looked at him like an equal. Even when they were kids and his father worked for his parents, Kris never treated him as someone beneath him., which is a miracle considering Kris's parents. 

He shouldn’t blame Kris for wanting to get the better of his parents. They threatened to send Kris to a special facility where they "turn" gays straight. As if there’s such a thing. He can almost understand his desperation. But it still hurts that he would use Adam like that - as nothing more than a way to tell his parents to fuck off.

Adam figured they balanced each other out. Kris had money but no family love. Adam had plenty of love but no money. And somehow, even with his upbringing, Kris grew into a happy person.

It's a miracle really.

Kirs is probably scared but, damn it, he should have talked to him. Not made that stupid proposition. There are guys that would marry Kris for the status alone. They could have figured it out together. Made a list or something.

Instead Kris came here tonight and ruined everything.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Old fic from LJ that I'm posting here by request.

After the confrontation at Adam's, Kris stays locked in his house, refusing to leave unless necessary. He spends his days taking long rides with Zeus trying to imagine what his life will be like in five year. Perhaps he should move away – maybe out of the country – and start over.

"Thanks Willie," he says, handing over the reins.

"Did you have a good ride?" the stableman asks and Kris nods. He's going to miss them.

"Yes, thank you."

He makes his way to the house, careful to take his boots off by the door.

"Good afternoon, Mrs. Rollingwood."

"Good afternoon Master Allen. Is there something special you'd like for dinner tonight?"

"Actually, you don't need to cook tonight. I'm having some food brought in and I'd like you and Mr. Rollingwood to join me. Willie will also be there. I need to talk to everyone about some changes that will be happening."

"Is everything okay?" she asks kindly, a little quietly.

Kris would love to lay his head on her shoulder and cry but he doesn’t think he has any tears left. "If you can make sure everyone is there for six, I'd appreciate it." He turns to leave.

"Kristopher?" she says, halting him in mid step. He can name on three fingers the people who call him that. Rollie, her and Adam. Pretty soon, nobody will be using that name. As much as he always complained about it, he’s going to miss hearing it.

"Is there anything you want to talk about?" she asks when Kris doesn't turn around or say anything. He's not surprised she questioned him again. She can be a little bulldog when she suspects stuff is being hidden from her.

"No, thank you."

He makes his way to his room and walks to the window. He looks at the pond where Mrs. R found him and Adam skinny dipping when they were teenagers. She laughed and said everybody tries it but to get out before they got sick with cold. It was too late. They were both sick in bed for almost a week while she acted as their nurse. 

His eyes look to the gate where he watched Adam kissing a boy after a date. It was the first time he'd ever been jealous. He thought it was because Adam got to kiss someone first. Now, he knows that wasn't the reason at all.

At dinner that night he explains to everyone the situation. They’re much more than his employees. They’re his family and as the head of the family it’s his duty to tell them personally.

Mr. and Mrs. Rollingwood were outraged on his behalf and Willie, well, he didn't seem all that surprised.

He hands them each an envelope containing a check for million dollars. "I want you to retire and enjoy yourselves. You've been very loyal to me and I love you like family. I should have done this a long time ago."

The night of his birthday, he blows off the party they're giving him at the country club. It's supposed to be a secret but he's known about it for a while. Instead he stays in and has cake in the kitchen with the people who really love him.  
~ ~ ~  
Adam walks through the country club looking around for Kris. He's not a member but he knew they wouldn't throw him out this time since they invited him to Kris's party. Only for him would he ever step foot in a place as pretentious as this. 

Besides, he’s thought of nothing else but Kris for days now and it’s past time they clear the air.

He sees Eric and decides to go say hello, since he's the only person he knows.

"Hey Eric."

"Adam, good to see you," Eric holds out his hand for Adam to shake.

"Where's Kris?" Adam asks, sipping on his champagne.

"I don't think he's coming."

"Why not?"

"He hasn't been here in while. Which is too bad because he was one of the nicest guys here."

"I wonder where he's at?" Adam asks, looking around, still expecting to find him. Kris would never miss a party in his name.

"Probably at home. I'm sure you heard about the will. Everyone's talking about it."

Adam clenches his jaw. "Yes, he told me about it a couple weeks ago."

"He did?" Eric blinks in surprise. "I mean I told him to talk to you but I wasn't sure he would."

Adam takes a sip of his drink, his lips suddenly dry. "He said you turned him down when he proposed. Then he told me the reason for it."

"Wow. That took guts. I can tell it didn't go well since you aren't together."

Adam gives Eric a level look. "You knew he was going to ask me, didn't you?"

"Well, I told him he should tell you how he felt."

Adam scoffs. "I know how he felt. I was his last resort."

Eric frowns and gives Adam a questioning look. "That doesn't make any sense. The night he proposed to me, he told me about the will. He lost everything then so he didn't need you to save anything. There was nothing to save."

"What are you talking about?" Adam scowls.

"Since Kris told me about the will, it was over. Didn’t he explain it at all?”

Adam doesn’t want to admit he didn’t let Kris explain anything but he wants to know what Eric is talking about. “We never got that far,” he mumbles.

Eric studies him for a minute. “I see. Well, you obviously know he had to get married before he turned 26. But there was also a stipulation that it had to remain a secret. If he told anyone he forfeited it all. So when he went to see you, he was already out of the will because he confided in me."

Adam stares around the room in a fog. Kris didn't come to him as a last ditch effort? Then why did he even visit him that night? What was he trying to accomplish?

There can only be one reason Kris went to him. It hits him like a ton of bricks. Kris went to tell him how he really felt about him. Instead of listening, like a best friend should, Adam insulted him and threw him out. 

"Adam, are you okay?" Eric asks gently."Yeah, yeah. I'm okay. I've just remembered somewhere I need to be."

He leaves the club, barely remembering the drive home and locks himself in his study.

Kris came to him with his heart on his sleeve and Adam ruthlessly shoved it in his face. There have been times during his life when he thought about being with Kris but they were only 'what ifs', but when Kris was at his house he realized how much he wanted it to happen. It was a knife in the heart when he thought Kris only came to him because Eric refused him. First because he got his hopes up with the thought and second because he thought they were better friends than that. 

God, he's so stupid. Stupid! He had it all right there and he threw it away.

Kris gave up everything for him. Adam's determined to give it back.

Two days later he visits Kris only to find he's already moved out.

"When?" Adam asks Rollie.

"He moved out yesterday morning sir. He had to be out by noon." Rollie says in a sad voice.

"What are you and Mrs. R. going to do?"

"Master Allen gave us a mighty hefty retirement check. Isabel wants to stay close to him though. She worries about him.”

Adam swallows. He worries about him too.

"Do you know when the auction will be?" He asks deciding to bring up the subject to the matter at hand.

"Master Allen left some paperwork on the desk in his study, but there’s too much legal mumbo jumbo for us to understand."

"Let me have a look.”

Rollie and Isabel pace the room as Adam looks at the papers.

“What kind of people do this to their own son?” She asks, her hands wringing in front of her.

“People who shouldn’t be parents,” Adam answers angrily.

“Do you know he gave us each a million dollars,” Rollie says. “Me, Izzy, and Willie. He called us his family.”

Adam lifts up his head. “You are his family.”

“What are we going to do? I’ve never seen him look as sad as has the last couple of weeks.”

Adam’s jaw tenses. He has a feeling he played more of a role in that than anything else. He feels guilty, and angry at himself, at what he gave up.

“I’m going to buy everything back.” He states after he reads the last document. “Kris can’t buy his things but there’s nothing in here that says someone can’t buy it for him. But just in case, I’m going to take copies of these and have my lawyers look them over.”

“You’d do that for him?” Rolllie asks. “That’s a lot of money Master Lambert.”

Adam smiles fondly. “Rollie, you make me sound like I’m twelve years old when you call me that.”

He looks from one to the other, sees the worry in their eyes. “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for him,” his voice strong with conviction.

“You’ve figured it out, havent you?” Isabel asks.

"I think I’ve figured a way to give Kris everything he lost.” He smiles at the woman he’s known most his life.

“Not that dear. You’ve finally figured out that you’re supposed to be together.”

“Izzy,” Rollie whines.

“Well, it’s true and you know it. We’ve been waiting since Master Allen became an adult for you two to realize you belong together.”

“Izzy,” Rollie says again, uncomfortably.

“It’s okay Rollie. She’s right.” He flashes her a smile. “Now, I’ve got to go and fix the mess I made. I’ll be in touch.”

He kisses Mrs. R on the cheek on his way out.

“He’s such a nice man. He’ll do right by Master Kris.” 

Adam smiles when he hears those words from Rollie’s lips as he leaves. At least he has their approval. Now he just needs Kris’.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Do you know who bought the house?" Eric asks Kris a few weeks after his birthday. 

They're sitting on the couch of the house Kris is renting. He doesn't want to buy anything until he figures out what to do with the rest of his life.

"Do you?" Eric prods when Kris doesn't answer.

 

They keep in touch, for which Kris is extremely grateful. It seems Eric's his only friend nowadays. Adam hasn't tried to contact him once. Even the people Kris thought of as acquaintances turned their back when they found out Kris wasn't as wealthy as he once was. He's still a multi-millionaire, but the very rich have standards on what they consider wealthy.

"I heard everything went to the same company. Honestly, I don't care. It's all gone."

"Are you miserable it's gone or miserable Adam's gone?"

"Adam," Kris whispers honestly. He doesn't need to lie to Eric. Eric knows the truth anyway.

"Have you talked to him?"

"There's nothing to say. He pretty much said it all the last time I saw him. Now, tell me about the new exhibit." Kris is purposely changing the subject. Eric gives him a look but lets him. 

“Stay for dinner?” Kris asks a while later.

“I can’t. I have a date.” Eric’s face flushes and Kris is reminded of the time he first asked Eric out. A decision he will never regret.

“Anyone I know?” Kris asks with a smile.

“Andrew Parker. He runs the gallery.”

Kris smiles. He can picture them together. “I’m glad.” 

He walks Eric to the door and gives him a hug in the doorway. “Thanks for being my friend.”

“Anytime.” Eric gives him a little peck and leaves. Kris leans against the door way and watches him drive away, waving to him.

Hopefully Eric can find happiness. Kris sighs and looks up at the sky. Even with a broken heart it seems the romantic in him just won’t die.   
~ ~ ~

Adam sits in his car, his heart sinking at what he witnessed. 

Obviously he misunderstood everything. Apparently Kris must have realized he really did love Eric and not Adam. Why else would he be kissing him at the door?

He picks up the papers he planned to give Kris. His mind plays over the scene he thought would be happening. Kris would be happy and they would talk everything out. Then, maybe, they could move to the next step.

He drives back to his house and drops the packet on the hall table. He heads to his room trying to figure out what to do next.

The evening turns into yet another restless one. He loves Kris. Unconditionally. He always has and always will. There’s no use in denying it anymore. 

And because he loves him, there’s really only one thing he can do. 

He calls Eric the next morning and sets a time to see him later that day. 

“Hello, thanks for seeing me.” He shakes Eric’s hand.

“Sure. What’s up?”

“I want you to give this to Kris and tell him it’s from you.”

He hands him the papers and waits while Eric takes them out.

“What are they?”

“A deed for his house. Papers for Zeus, his artwork…”

“You bought them?” Eric asks stunned. Adam glances away from the look in Eric’s eyes.

“Yes. I drove to Kris’s last night and saw you in the door. It’s obvious he loves you,” Adam congratulates himself on saying the words without choking on them. “Just tell him they’re from you, please. I don’t want him to know I bought them.” 

“But Adam…”

“Please, Eric. Don’t argue. Just do it. He deserves to be happy.”

Eric looks into Adam’s eyes. “Yes he does.”

Adam swallows hard. “Thank you.”

He leaves and climbs back into his car. He tries to convince himself his shattered heart doesn’t matter. Kris will be happy. That’s all that counts.

 

* * *

“Kris, Adam bought it all back,” Eric says as he walks into Kris’s house.

Kris looks at the papers Eric handed him. “I don’t understand.”

Eric smiles widely. “He loves you dude. If this doesn’t prove it nothing will.”

“He thinks I’m an air head and immature,” Kris tells him sadly. He’s not sure he’ll ever understand how Adam can believe that. “Why would he buy everything back for me?” Kris lowers his eyes. “He doesn’t even think I’m attractive.”

“Oh he does all right. He loves you. It’s really romantic if you think about it.” Eric sighs. 

“Why did he give them to you?”

“He saw me leaving here the other night. He thinks you love me. He wanted me to say I bought it all.”

“But that doesn’t make any sense.”

“Sure it does. If you truly loved someone, wouldn’t you everything in your power to make them happy.”

“Well, yes.” It’s why he’s avoided Adam all this time. Adam told him to get out so he did.

“Go to him Kris. Oh, and I get to be best man,” Eric says laughing as he walks out.

He stares at the papers. Everything is in Kris’ name. But how? Why? Adam kicked him out when he tried to tell him how he felt. Why would he go and do all this? 

Kris is scared to believe what his mind is telling him. It keeps shouting to him that Adam does love him. This has to be proof, doesn’t it?

Is it worth the possibility of getting his heart trampled on again to find out? Not that he has a choice in the matter. He has to find out why Adam did it. And if it’s not for the reason he hoped. Well, he could always move to Antarctica.

After spending the next day thinking about his best way to approach him, he drives over to Adam's, still unsure how to proceed, only knowing he has to talk to him. He uses his pass at gate, happy Adam didn't change it after their fight. He asks the butler where he can find Adam and is told he’s in his room. Kris has always had the run of the house so he darts upstairs. He stops outside and smoothes his shirt and takes some deep breaths to calm his nerves.

He walks in to find Adam standing against the window, his head laying on his forearm. 

He’s so beautiful he takes Kris’s breath away. How did he never see it before?

"Adam,” he says, his voice catching.

Adam turns. “Kristopher, what are you doing here?” 

“I know.” Kris swallows. He shuts the door behind him and walks forward on shaky legs.

Adam sighs and Kris can see the tension in his body. “Eric told you didn’t he?”

“Yes. Why did you do it?” He prays Adam will be honest with him.

Adam looks away. "You didn't deserve to lose everything."

“I mean, why did you tell Eric to give them to me?” Kris walks until he’s standing right in front of Adam. 

Adam runs his hands through his hair. “Look, you probably panicked or whatever and it’s okay. We can still be friends. I know you’re with Eric again and I wanted him to be the one to give them to you since you love him. I thought it would be a nice gesture.”

“Adam, I don’t love Eric. I never have.” Kris’ heart is beating so hard he’s surprised Adam can’t hear it. 

“But you’re seeing him again. I saw you when you kissed him at the door.” Adam’s eyes are questioning.

"No, what you saw was one friend leaving another friend’s house. He was only lending me an ear.” 

“Oh.” If Kris wasn’t a nervous wreck he’d laugh at the expression on Adam’s face. 

His blood is racing, and his hands are sweaty and he feels like he’s going to vomit but he has to ask.

“Adam, are you in love with me?”

Kris waits on pins and needles for Adam’s answer, looking for any sign that he might be right. Terrified he’ll see a sign saying he has it all wrong.

“You know I love you.” Adam sounds almost angry and Kris isn’t surprised. Adam’s not one to be pushed into a corner.

“That isn’t what I asked.”

Kris takes a risk and decides to touch him. It’s now or never. He stretches on his toes while his arms slide around Adam’s neck. He’s touched Adam his whole life but it’s never felt like this before. 

"Are you in love with me? Because I’m in love with you and I’d rather not be alone in feeling this way.” 

Their lips are so close but Kris refuses to go the last distance.

Adam’s hands grip Kris’s hips hard. “Kris,” Adam says softly. His voice sounds so broken and scared that Kris wants to wrap him in his arms and never let go.

"You called me Kris," he whispers, his heart beating even faster. "You never call me that."

"It helped me keep barriers."

Kris kisses the corner of his mouth. "Adam," he pulls away and swallows. 

He lifts his eyes to look into Adam’s. They’re filled with confusion, fear, and hope. It’s the last one that pushes Kris on.

"Adam, please. Tell me how you feel. I need to know.”

Adam closes his eyes and lays his forehead against Kris. “Yes, I’m in love with you,” he finally whispers. Kris could swear his heart just broke out in song, with birds singing and an orchestra playing.

He can feel Adam’s breath on his lips. “Kiss me,” Kris begs.

When he was a teenager he imagined what it would be like to kiss him. He thought it would be wild and crazy. Instead it's hot and sweet. And it's perfect. It consumes him, steals this breath and makes his heart soar. 

When he feels Adam’s tongue slide in his mouth, he gives himself over to the emotions racing inside and holds on for the ride.

It’s not long until Kris needs skin. He needs to touch Adam like he needs air to breathe. He pulls Adam’s shirt from his pants and slips his palms underneath. His skin is smooth and hot. He feels powerful when he hears Adam's indrawn breath. He did that to him. With just his touch. 

“Take it off,” he demands but Adam’s hands stop him and his lips move away.

Kris tries to follow them, not yet ready to give up the feeling.

“Kris, no.”

“No? What do you mean no?” he asks, trying to move his hands away from Adam so he can get his shirt off. And then his pants. God, he wants to lay Adam down and touch every inch of him. For days. Weeks. Forever.

“I want to date you first,” Adam’s voice sounds pained. Kris looks at his face and watches his jaw clench. 

“You’re kidding right? Adam, you just told me you love me and I said I love you. I think we’re past the dating stage.”

He tries to tug again but Adam’s hands aren’t budging.

“You deserve to be courted.”

Kris laughs. “You’re serious?” Kris sees the determined look on his face. “Adam, the only reason people date is to get to know each other. I don’t think we have to worry about that.”

Adam just stares at him and Kris resigns himself to losing this battle. “Fine. Fine, we’ll date.” He grabs Adam’s hand and pulls him down the stairs and into the kitchen.

He rummages through the fridge, taking out cheese and fruit. 

“What are you doing?”

“Consider this our first date,” he says, grabbing a couple of plates. He puts some stuff on each one, not even caring what’s on it. “Here, eat. It’s dinner.”

The corner of Adam’s lip curls up when he looks at Kris. His eyes have a devilish gleam in them and Kris’s stomach drops to his toes. 

Adam turns it into a seduction scene and by the time he’s done, Kris is clutching onto the counter and sporting a hard on begging to be touched. 

"What's the second date?" Adam asks and Kris blinks.

"Second date? Oh yeah, second date.” He pulls Adam into the den and puts the radio on. “Um, we dance?” Kris asks, hesitation clear in his voice.

“Dance is good,” Adam whispers against his neck when he pulls Kris in close. 

He never noticed how big Adam’s hands were. And how strong. He wants to feel them all over. Adam told him once he wasn't into any wild stuff. He remembers his exact words, "I like it to be me turning on the guy I'm with. My mouth, my dick, my hands." Kris laughed it off at the time but, God, playing those words over in his mind, Adam's voice low and intimate, sends another shiver of anticipation coursing through his veins. 

But first he wants Adam to kiss him again.

Adam makes love to his mouth while they dance. There’s no other way to describe the total possession and control he takes. All Kris can do is hold on tight . He’s making the most obscene noises in his throat, and his hands are pulling at wherever they can touch. But he can't help it. He has no control over his actions. 

“Adam, please.”

He expects Adam to walk him upstairs but he sits him on the couch instead. 

“Remember when I said you weren’t attractive?” Adam pulls Kris shirt over his head and places kisses across his chest. 

“Yes,” Kris answers. His body’s on fire and he can’t catch his breath. It’s the most alive he’s ever felt.

“I lied,” Adam says before licking his belly button. 

Kris can’t stop his hands from pulling on Adam’s hair. His tongue is dancing around the waistband of his pants while his fingers tickle his nipples. Kris lifts his hips up hoping that will get Adam doing something. 

Adam’s hands move to his buckle. He looks at Kris with weary eyes. “I don’t want you to regret this tomorrow.”

Kris’ heart falls to his stomach before flying back into place. He cups Adam’s cheek and smiles. “I’ll never regret being with you.”

“It’s going to change everything.” 

People say the eyes are the windows to your soul. If that’s true, then Adam’s soul is scared.

“But it’ll change it to the way it’s supposed to be. We were meant to be together Adam.” He smiles at him. A vision of the first time he saw Adam's face comes to his mind. He stood behind Rollie's leg, intimidated and fascinated by the kid with the scowl.

“I know.” 

It’s the quick agreement that has Kris smiling widely. “Then what are you waiting for.”

Adam tilts his head and smiles . “I’m just nervous I guess.”

Kris laughs with him. “Why? Neither of us are virgins.”

“But they weren’t you.” Adam’s watching him intently.

Kris sits up and takes Adam’s face in his hands. He knows it by heart. He could draw it in his sleep but it's new somehow. 

"Take me to bed,” he whispers. He places a kiss on his jaw. He's never wanted anyone as much as he wants Adam.

Adam stands up and holds out his hand to Kris and they walk upstairs together. The silence between them is filled with tension. Kris wants to say something but isn’t sure what. His mind keeps playing over images of what he thinks will happen when they reach his bedroom. 

Adam touching him.

Adam sucking him.

Adam fucking him. 

And Kris doing those things to him.

He expects Adam to slowly undress him but it turns out he is so completely wrong.

Adam doesn’t walk him to the bed. He pushes Kris against the closed door and kisses him witless, while rubbing their groins together. It’s wild and steamy. Nothing like the slow seduction he was expecting. 

He’s pinned to wall, while Adam’s mouth bites on his neck. He doesn’t even open Kris’s pants, just shoves his hand inside to squeeze him.

Kris hears buttons flying when he pulls Adam’s shirt open. He’s seen Adam’s chest before. Plenty of times. But it wasn’t until the day on the yacht that he thought he was sexy. 

Their mouths are hungry, devouring while they strip each other. It takes a while because their hands keep tangling in their haste to get to skin.

Kris is sinking fast. His mind can’t concentrate. He wants to make it good for Adam. Make it last, but Adam’s stealing his ability to do anything but feel. 

His lungs are burning, begging for air as Adam's mouth leaves a fire over his skin. He’s never wanted anyone like this. Needed anyone like this. Adam is like a drug. The more he samples, the more he wants.

“Suck me,” Kris begs. “Please.” 

Adam’s mouth is so close. He’d only have to turn his head and, “Oh God,” Kris moans when he feels Adam’s lips around him. 

He holds Adam’s head still while he thrusts. “Fuck.” He can feel his orgasm pulling at him. It’s right there. 

He lifts a leg onto Adam’s shoulder and groans at the new angle. “Don’t stop.”

Kris feels Adam’s fingers probing him and he does something with his tongue that has Kris banging his head against the door.

“Adam, I’m gonna come,” he warns. He grips Adam’s head and holds it tight against him. It’s the moan he hears from Adam that carries him over the edge. 

It hits him hard, makes his entire body spasm uncontrollably. When the final shivers leave, he collapses against the door.

“Jesus Christ.” Kris is pretty sure he can’t move. 

Adam picks his boneless body up and carries him to the bed. He can taste himself on Adam’s tongue. It’s erotic and sexy. 

"I need to be inside you,” Adam pants against his ear. 

Kris needs that too. He wants to belong to him in the most basic way. He rolls over and waits while Adam preps himself. He feels Adam’s fingers opening him, stretching him but Kris doesn’t want to wait.

“Now Adam.”

Kris lays his face on the bed and reaches back to hold himself open. He can feel himself puckering against the cool air.

“Please,” he begs again, not caring how wanton he sounds. He’ll beg all night if he has to. He just needs Adam inside.

Kris closes his eyes and sighs when he feels Adam against him. He's big and hard and Kris is can't wait to be filled with him.

Adam starts slowly but it isn’t long before the bed is hitting the wall with his thrusts. He feels Adam’s breath on his neck, his teeth on his skin. Then Adam’s repeating his name, over and over again before he collapses on Kris’s back, his open mouth panting for breath against Kris's back.

Kris smiles against the bed. He can't help it. He's never felt happier than he does right now. He feels Adam move away but he's too content to move. Instead he hugs the pillow under his head.

Adam takes a deep breath and kisses his wrist. "I'm thinking we should get married at your house. By the pond where we used to go swimming."

Kris rolls over and studies Adam. "You want to get married?"

"Well, you did propose and I was an ass. I figure it's my turn to do the asking."

Kris just lays there grinning at him. He loves him so much. "You didn't ask though," he teases. He places his fingers over Adam's lips to stop the words that he knows are going to escape. "But my answer is yes."

Adam moves them until they're lying side by side, facing each other. They lean in at the same time to kiss. It's long and slow, the passion sated for now. Then they lie in each others arms and talk about their future. 

Adam starts telling him about the partial sale of his company, reassuring Kris he'll be around more. Then he moves on to the wedding and when and how it should happen. Kris can't help smiling because once Adam puts his mind to something everybody better get out of his way.

"We can sell my place and move into yours," Adam says later. "I always loved that house."

"I want kids Adam. Lots of them. I want to watch them run around the lawns, take them horseback riding, sneak into the pond at night to swim. I want them to have their own Mr. and Mrs. R."

"I love you Kris."

The words warm Kris's heart. HIs life right now, right here, is perfect. "I love you too."

"I can't believe you gave it all up for me."

Adam sounds humbled and awed. Kris wraps his arms around his waist and hugs him tight before telling him what's in his heart.

"It doesn't mean anything without you," he says honestly. "I'm nothing without you." 

He falls asleep with Adam's arms around him and their future playing out in his mind.


End file.
